my one and only love
by Josie Gibbons
Summary: a little angsty piece... something happens to chase and zoey is forced to speak about it


Yep just came up with this completely at random... while my laptops unplugged cause its like 1am and i'm tired and should be asleep.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters

She had sat by his bedside all that last night, hoping and praying that he would somehow make some miraculous recovery. But alas it wasn't to be, his injuries were too great and there was no hope for him in the end. And that was why she found herself, six days after his accident, standing at the pew of the small church, in a town she had never visited before, and reading from the scrap of paper in her hand.

"I wrote Chase a letter before he died, and added some to it. And I was going to read that out now. But I cant." her voice shook as she continued. "I want to, and I know I told people that I would, but I can't. Because that letter was for him and him alone. And it will go with him, so he can read it at some time. But for now, well, for now I just have a few words to say about him. About my best friend" she sighed, and felt her eyes begin to fill with tears as she looked down at the scrap of paper in her hand. Tear stained and crumpled, she didn't even really need to read from it as she knew it so well, but it helped to keep her focused.

"Chase Matthews was my best friend. My best friend and the person I loved most in the world. I've never met anyone like him before, never wanted to. I have girl friends, and I've had boyfriends and males who were friends before, but non of them ever added up to him. He was everything to me, and he always will be. I sat with him, that whole last night, that whole three days he was there, and never" her voice shook and she felt tears begin to dribble from the corners of her eyes "never once did I tell him that I love him. That he was everything to me. He was the one I wanted to be with, to spend my life with. I wanted him to be my Chase, not just my best friend but my boyfriend too. And I know I'm young, and I shouldn't have felt like that, but I do. Chase was such an amazing person, such a good friend to everyone and anyone. And he was a really good student too, he really cared about his studies and getting good grades. But he knew how to have fun and combine the two, he knew how to make these things work for him. And that was what made him so special. That... that was what made me love him so much, that was what made it break my heart, that's... that's why I know I will never be the same again." she moved, ran away from the podium, and took her seat with her friends again in the front row, tears running down her cheeks, her eyes red and swollen, but not bothering to wipe them, not even bothering to dab at her eyes, and her normally flawless make-up ran down her cheeks, and she didn't care.

An hour later, Zoey found herself standing beside his graveside, looking into the open coffin as others slowly gathered around her, ready to say their final goodbyes to their good friend. Sighing slightly, she reached into her coat pocket and pulled out an envelope, slipping it into the breast pocket of his crisp white shirt. Then, without looking back again, she turned and walked away, not waiting to see as he was lowered into the ground for the last time.

Dear Chase.

I'm writing this, because I don't know how to tell you in person. I dont know how to get my words right and I dont know how to make you understand that I'm not just messing about. Also, every time I try and tell you these things, I just clam up and end up talking about something random. But i'm not going to do that, not in this letter, because i've had time to think about it. I've had time to work out what I want to say, its just saying it in person I cant do. And I see that now.

I love you Chase, you're everything to me, my light, my dark, my moon, my stars, my sun. You're the person I want to wake up to every morning, the person I want to go to sleep beside every night. I want you to be the first thing I see, I want you to be the person I turn to and know that it goes both ways, and that its more than just as friends. I want you to know how much you mean to me, and I want to know that you feel it too. But even if you don't feel the same, I at least want you to know how I feel, so i'm not hiding it from you. So i'm being honest with you. So there's no secrets. And so here it is Chase, in base honest English. I love you. I want to be with you. You're the only person for me. I will never give up on you, not as long as I live.

I love you

Zoey.

23-2-2004

Chase, I'm adding this here, because I have to. I never gave you the rest of this letter, I never had the time. I wrote it, and then you had the accident. And now, now you're gone. And I just want you to know, although I dont know if you'll ever see this or ever know, but I would like to think you will. And so, I say this. Even though you're gone, I still love you. I will always love you, you will always own my heart. You are everything I ever wanted, and I will never stop feeling like that. There will never be anyone else for me. You are my Chase, the love of my life, my soul mate. The only person I ever wanted or ever will. And I miss you so much already, and I always will. And I love you. From the day I met you until eternity, when we meet again. I am, eternally yours whether you like it or not.

Your Zoey.

There. Short drabble. I might do more of this, like how Zoey copes afterwards, but only if I get reviews... I just got sudden inspiration for this piece and had to write it out. Hope you enjoyed anyway :)

love and peace,

the one and only,

Stargazing Maiden


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